Interruption.
More of the tragedies at another time.
I figured I should point out where exactly I stand at this point, as that will probably provide a little bit of understanding. Things are pretty much okay -- job is underpaid, but worth sticking around for. Sociality has returned with a vengeance, and if it weren't for the fact that I don't have the internet at home right now, I probably would have snuck back to my shell a while ago. People are making me stabby, to be frank -- there remain a select few that I can rely on, but for the most part I'm growing tired of how most people act. Transparently, if you will. Regardless, combine that with the renewed sociality, and you have a recipe for future beatings (in which way remains unknown).
Band is defunct for now, which is unfortunate. May resuscitate with the guitarist at some point, but for now I'm looking forward to being the bassist for someone who knows what he's doing, working on the solo material that has started floating around my head of late, and a new project with the aforementioned knows-what-he's-doing guy. We'll see, especially if I ever get that new amp.
Wedding guest-ness approaching, which along with music tour is making for an interesting next seven weeks or so. Good luck to Jason and the gang on their own endeavor, and we'll see if anything starts making sense any time soon.
God don't care for your benevolence.
So I found the actual section I spoke of in the last post:
On the way back from the post office, I stop at a bank of America ATM and withdraw from my rapidly disappearing savings. I then convert my withdraw into a wad of low-denomination bills. I feel like a crack dealer. I have an idea.
...
I am writing a list of tragic character flaws on my dollar bills with a felt pen. I am thinking of the people in my universe and distilling for each of these people the one flaw in their character that will led to their downfall -- the flaw that will be their undoing.
jasmine, Anna-Louise, Daisy, Mark, Dan, Stephanie, Monique, Kiwi, Harmony, Skye, Gaia, Mei-Lin, Davidson, Pony, Grandma and Grandpa, Eddie Woodman, Jim and Lorraine Jarvis -- everybody's here. Even me. And more.
What I write are not sins; I write tragedies. And I am writing these tragedies in a manner that the recipients can easily absorb. And I won't say whose flaw is whose.
So that's that. Now we begin.
YOU BELIEVE THAT BEING A GOOD PERSON NOW WILL MAKE EVERYONE FORGET HOW HORRIBLE YOU WERE.YOUR CONSCIOUS EMPTINESS PREVENTS PEOPLE FROM CARING ABOUT YOU.
YOU REFUSE TO ACCEPT THE VERY GOOD HAND YOU WERE DEALT.
YOUR FEAR OF FAILING CAUSES YOU TO FAIL.
YOUR HIGH HORSE ISN'T AS HIGH AS YOU THINK IT IS.
And despite making a point not to look at the original text, there is one from there that I have to include. I'm tempted to say that it pertains to me:
YOU PRETEND TO BE MORE ECCENTRIC THAN YOU ACTUALLY ARE BECAUSE YOU WORRY YOU ARE AN INTERCHANGEABLE COG
More to come.
