God don't care for your benevolence.
So I found the actual section I spoke of in the last post:So that's that. Now we begin.On the way back from the post office, I stop at a bank of America ATM and withdraw from my rapidly disappearing savings. I then convert my withdraw into a wad of low-denomination bills. I feel like a crack dealer. I have an idea.
... I am writing a list of tragic character flaws on my dollar bills with a felt pen. I am thinking of the people in my universe and distilling for each of these people the one flaw in their character that will led to their downfall -- the flaw that will be their undoing.
jasmine, Anna-Louise, Daisy, Mark, Dan, Stephanie, Monique, Kiwi, Harmony, Skye, Gaia, Mei-Lin, Davidson, Pony, Grandma and Grandpa, Eddie Woodman, Jim and Lorraine Jarvis -- everybody's here. Even me. And more.
What I write are not sins; I write tragedies. And I am writing these tragedies in a manner that the recipients can easily absorb. And I won't say whose flaw is whose.
YOU BELIEVE THAT BEING A GOOD PERSON NOW WILL MAKE EVERYONE FORGET HOW HORRIBLE YOU WERE.
YOUR CONSCIOUS EMPTINESS PREVENTS PEOPLE FROM CARING ABOUT YOU.
YOU REFUSE TO ACCEPT THE VERY GOOD HAND YOU WERE DEALT.
YOUR FEAR OF FAILING CAUSES YOU TO FAIL.
YOUR HIGH HORSE ISN'T AS HIGH AS YOU THINK IT IS.
And despite making a point not to look at the original text, there is one from there that I have to include. I'm tempted to say that it pertains to me:
YOU PRETEND TO BE MORE ECCENTRIC THAN YOU ACTUALLY ARE BECAUSE YOU WORRY YOU ARE AN INTERCHANGEABLE COG
More to come.
posted by Bill @ 7:43 PM
3 Comments:
I love that part of the book. I thought about doing that myself, too, but nobody I knew ever had such poetic faults and frankly some of them repeated ('you are a dumbass whiteboy who embraces alt.hiphop to forget about your future in law school,' anyone?)
I think I seized upon some of the faults in _SP_ because they were more fun than my real faults.
Also, whenever I fill out a survey about my superiors at work, I always try to make their weaknesses sound Couplandian...
Hope life is good, chief.
Believe me, the concern that most people's faults aren't nearly as well worded as the ones in _SP_ was the main reason I didn't do this until now. But frustration at my interpersonal world forced my hand.
So Niles, do you have an online presence anywhere?
Not really. I shut my Myspace, ended my blog and only keep my friendster up because I'm too lazy to shut it down. Then again, I don't have much of an offline presence, either... I cast no shadow.
I will let you know if I ever have enough to say to sustain any sort of e-me though...
N
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